One of the really big steps to letting go is forgiveness. When you can forgive your upbringing, broken relationships, anyone else in your life that hurt you, and finally forgive yourself...you can move forward. We hold such pain in our bodies when we don't forgive. It can cause us to be sick, definitely makes us stressed out and causes us to fail because we don't ever truly move forward. Do you want to let go, I mean truly let go of the past and leave it there?
Then there are 4 people you need to forgive so that you are free of guilt, pain and sadness:
Start with forgiving your parents. They gave you life and started you in a life so be grateful for that. That is your silver lining. They may not have been good to you, even mean perhaps, but the forgiveness is not for their peace of mind, but for yours. Holding all the sadness and pain is not healthy nor productive.
Forgive any past relationships. These past love or friendship relationships can threaten your self esteem/worth and you could harbour anger for a long time if you don't let it go. Go through each relationship, find what was good about it, let go of the bad stuff, and let it go. Be thankful that its over and that you survived it, learned from it and now are working on healthier relationships.
Start with a clean slate so you can move forward: Forgive anyone who has ever hurt you in any way. Let them go. ie any bad customer, boss, friend, teacher etc. Let it go so you can move forward. Forget about it!
Forgive yourself 100%!! For everything you have ever said and did that was mean, thoughtless, revengeful. STOP carrying it with you, you were in a different place and you are a better person now. Start with now. You are going to move forward and inorder to do that you must forgive yourself and love yourself unconditionally! When you act from guilt or pain, you will always be trying to make up for your past mistakes. So do yourself the best favour possible and forgive yourself.
The best activity I have found so far to letting go is by writing a letter to each person that has caused you pain or trauma. Don't send them, its just an activity to let go. When you write the letter, put all the details in it. say exactly what you want, and then let it go. Forgive them for you, not them. Rewrite and repeat if you need to. ie. I saw this on Oprah when I was in my early 20's. It was to forgive my parents so that I could move forward. From that moment forward I never resented them, or was angry again. I choose (key word) to forgive them as they did the best they could with what they had at the time I was growing up. The important thing was, that I from that moment forward I was living my life and they were not influencing me. So every mistake I made or any decision I made whatever the outcome was my responsibility and therefore the blame game was over. Its quite freeing!
The second activity is affirming your feelings, when it may surface, which can come up as we are still processing these emotions. It's okay this is normal, letting go takes time be patient with yourself. Use these affirmations: for others: “I forgive him/her for everything and I wish him/her well.” for youreself: Whenever you think of that event or situation, just repeat, “I forgive myself completely.”
Create better habits so you can let go of the past and live in the present moment:
Create a conducive environment to tell the story of your negative emotion
Notice and identify your negative emotions
Evaluate these emotions and their impact. What are these emotions doing to you? Are they bringing you happiness or misery? Are they helping you or hurting you?.
Discover your positive motivation for letting go. Find some motivation to let go of your negative feelings
Take responsibility for your own happiness, don't give your power away
Evaluate your ability and willingness to let go
Create a new positive experience to replace the negative one. Create a change for you by focusing on new positive experiences. While positive thinking is great, positive actions will take you farther
Face your negative emotions. Feel your sadness or anger, when you are ready allow the feelings to ebb and flow through
Try not to take anything personally, most people mean and maybe we are just in a bad place and take it personally (thats human to feel that way)
Mindfulness mindset to life truly helps you move forward
Replace negative thoughts with positive action, develop daily positive habits
Love yourself unconditionally. The most courageous thing you can ever do is to love yourself unconditionally
Learn to forgive. If you are holding onto resentment, you are not hurting the person who hurt you, you are only hurting yourself. Write a letter and then throw it out
Wash away your worries. The process of thinking about your worries and listing them will help get them out of your head.Declutter your mind by removing everything from it that causes you to worry or have any type of negative feelings
Use a Buddha Board to release bad feelings. A Buddha Board is a great way to release negative feelings. It is easy to use—you just fill the stand with water and dip in a brush and start drawing or writing. As the water evaporates, your art will slowly fade away, allowing you to practice the art of letting go
Practice being more present and just think about the moment at hand
Stay focused on the tasks at hand, stay present
Recite happiness and confidence affirmations. Positive words are a powerful tool
Write down your emotions in a journal. Writing down your emotions in a journal is one step toward self-discovery. It will allow you to make sense out of your complex life and organize your feelings
Practice visualization. The practice of changing the outcome of a situation by altering one’s thoughts and expectations. This involves recognizing the outcome that you want and then visualizing it happening over and over with all of your senses
Reflect on your achievements. Make it a habit to notice and focus on what's good in your life
The benefits of taking the time to notice and focus on the positive things in your life
Take good care of yourself daily
Learn how to change your mood. The methods of doing this may be different for everybody. While going for a great run might boost your mood, it may not be the right ticket for someone else
Seek support. Having the support of other people will always help you achieve your goal of letting something go
Find what works for you, everyone is different. I love keeping it simple by doing my AM Mindset (yoga and meditation), afternoon boosters (walking and soft music), and PM Mindset (evening routine). I hope you find value in this, in health and happiness XO AJ
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